Part 2: Finding Love on Broken Ground
After we got married, we moved into a new house. It was then that I started to see some subtle and very noticeable changes, red flags that were not quite deal breakers. He was a “matter of fact” person who wanted things his way and didn’t leave room for mistakes. This caused constant conflict between him and my children, leaving me caught in the middle. I felt like things always had to be his way or he would have a problem with it, giving me the silent treatment for days. His no-nonsense attitude was hard to digest, especially for my children and me, who were free spirits. His personality was a direct reflection of his past; he had been released from prison just fifteen to eighteen months before we started our relationship, and he was still operating like a warden.
But then, a different person began to emerge. He even started to study the Bible with me, which made a huge difference in our marriage early on. It was a gradual change, but the rigid guy in the beginning started to soften. He became a very good husband. He was the provider, the lover, the spoiler, and the caretaker. Anything I wanted, he made sure that I had. Luckily for him, I wasn’t a materialistic person…lol. I didn’t have to lift a finger; he also helped me clean and cook. He was ambitious and worked hard, so I didn’t have to worry about money or bills. He would wash the car, pump the gas, and carry all of the groceries into the house. He even made me coffee and breakfast every morning and ran my bath at night. He was also very attentive and affectionate. We drove to work together every day, and he always picked me up on time, which was a huge deal to me because my first husband and the boyfriend that followed always picked me up late.
However, things took a turn again after he started his own business. He became the very person he said he didn’t want to be. He was a good husband until he wasn’t. The more he worked, the more he fell away from his spirituality, and soon, money became the only thing that mattered. I never worried about money or not being able to pay bills because he was always looking for the next contract that paid handsomely. His gambling addiction, a shadow from his past, fully resurfaced. It started subtly but quickly escalated into reckless spending and unexplained disappearances of money. The man I married was slowly consumed by this obsession, leaving me feeling isolated and terrified as he became someone I no longer recognized. I felt confused and desperate to understand what was happening to the person I loved. What I was about to find out, however, would be more disturbing than anything I had imagined. It would change the way I saw him, and our entire relationship, forever.
Marriage, Men, and Me 