Dedication: To the Men Who Paved the Way…
I want to open this with a special shout-out to all the special men in my life — those who are here standing strong and the ones who have passed away. This one is for you. Your presence has shaped me, your strength has inspired me, and this message is born out of a deep respect for the value you bring to this world.
The Observation:
I see men on social media feeling emotionally exhausted for one reason or another. I also know men that keep showing up trying to do the right thing and are met with strife and disrespect. I’m not saying that they are perfect in the relationship, but men have feelings too. In a relationship, it needs to be a balance.
When a man is asked to prove his value to someone who hasn’t examined their own, the weight becomes too heavy to carry. Accepting disrespect and calling it love is a trap that many good men fall into while trying to “do the right thing.”
SPOTTED:
A table built on expectation instead of effort will always feel unbalanced.
The Reality Check:
We as women always want the man to bring everything to the table… right! But what are you bringing to the table? That is my question. When I examine myself — as I often do before I open my mouth — I know what I bring to the table, and it’s not chump change, so to speak.
Why is it that some women believe it’s all on the man, simply because he’s the man? That logic is wrong. You can’t expect a “King” to sit at a table where you aren’t prepared to be a partner. Sometimes what keeps the disrespect alive is simply what a man keeps allowing.
Dating vs. Marriage: Let’s Not Confuse the Role
Let me back up for a second so no one is confused — when you’re married, the circumstances are different! That is a covenant, and that’s not for this specific subject. We are talking about dating. Let’s not confuse your role. You cannot claim the benefits of a commitment you haven’t made yet. In the dating phase, balance is mandatory.
The Final Thought:
You don’t need to perform to be worthy of respect. The right connection will meet your effort with effort — not expectation alone. True balance happens when both people realize that the “table’ is meant for sharing, not just for one person to serve while the other sits back and evaluates. Peace is a requirement, not a luxury.
Xoxo, Indie💋
Marriage, Men, and Me 